The Bunkest/Episodes/Season 1: Sheen-Mania
"Sheen-Mania" is the third episode of the first season of The Bunkest. Synopsis The gang binge-watches all the episodes of Planet Sheen. Transcript (Pan in on Bunkest. Everyone is relaxing, doing whatever they feel like in the living room, when suddenly resident mad scientist Prof. Wright bursts through the door.) Prof. Wright: You all won't believe what I just found! Jasmine: You've ended world hunger? Prof. Wright: Better than that! Madi: You're taking us to Disneyland? Prof. Wright: Try again! Tornadospeed: You've found the meaning to life, the universe, and everything? Prof. Wright: Better than that too! Ivy: You got Sonic Underground revived!? You got the Parappa anime dubbed?! YOU MADE OK K.O. KILL OFF WALLY!?!? Prof. Wright: Nope! Better! Pixel: You illegalized K-Pop?! Prof. Wright: No way! J. Severe: You've gotten Tron Uprising and Wander Over Yonder un-cancelled? Prof. Wright: Okay, maybe not that good, but almost. Jasmine: Well, what is it? Prof. Wright: I've acquired entertainment... (Holds up DVD) from the Dark Universe! (Scare chord as it shows the DVD, which is labelled "Planet Sheen - The Complete First Season") Bunkmates: *gasp* Jasmine: Oh no, not Planet Sheen! Madi Shinx: Okay... I used to be a huge fan of the show, but I've lost interest... Ivy: Planet Sheen? Heard it was awful. Prof. Wright: Oh, yes! It was difficult, but the Dark Universe was generous, and let me have the complete first season. Jasmine: Oh, the whole thing was already online anyway. I'd know, I've seen every episode. Prof. Wright: Oh really? How was it? Jasmine: *shudders* There are some serious dark energies in that show. Prof. Wright: That's fantastic! That's exactly what I'm studying! Let's get this going! Jasmine: No wait! Prof. Wright: (turns around) What is it? Jasmine: You can't watch Planet Sheen without friends! Prof. Wright: But everyone's here. I don't see who else we need. Jasmine: Yes, everyone but Douglas Scheving, of Upper Darby Township, Deleware County, Pennsylvania! Everyone: Who? Jasmine: Oh right, I'd like you to meet our special guest, Douglas Scheving! Douglas Scheving: Hello. I like bread. (The bunkmates all sort of say "Hey, Douglas" and the like, as he takes his seat on the couch) Jasmine: Alright, now we can start. Pinto: Alrighty! Prof. Wright: (gives thumbs up, and places Planet Sheen disc in DVD player, and the theme song starts at full volume) Sheen: (off-screen) Sheen, do not press this button. Theme Song Singer: (off-screen) DOGS LIKE CHEESE COWS LIKE MONKEYS PLANET SHEEN IS OH-SO FUNKY Ivy: I hate my life. Manic: Same. Moon Snail: I'm not the only one, now. Pixel: Hell yeah! Planet freakin' Sheen, babey! (Cut away from the Bunkest as the theme song plays quietly in the distance. Dorkus is looking through a telescope at the Bunkest.) Dorkus: Curses! Pinter, do you know what those fools have acquired? Pinter: (flies in) Why, no boss I don't think I would know, what is it? Dorkus: They have acquired a disc of all my most embarassing moments! All the horrible fates I suffered at the hands of that alien Sheen... Do you know what this means? Pinter: Hmmm, do we politely go over and tell them that we request they don't watch the disc? Dorkus: (grabs Pinter) Too late! They've already begun. We must move to Plan B. Annihilation! Pinter: Wow, boss, your vocabulary is quite astounding. Dorkus: Thank you Pinter, I've been practicing. (Cut back to the Bunkest, where everyone is binging Planet Sheen.) Madi: Such a mess. Ace: Yeah this is a mess. But yet, I can't keep my eyes off of it. Jasmine: That's what Planet Sheen does to ya, Ace. Cooler: Worse than any ''Monday. '''Nose Marie': Agreed, Cooler darlin'. Doppy: (on the show) I thought World War was caused by rampant nationalism and economic instability, how could I be so wrong? Moon Snail: Wait, did he just say that? Ace: Guess so? Moon Snail: This is the point where I'd just throw in the towel, but... Something's stopping me from leaving... Douglas Scheving: I'm just here for the contest thing... Jasmine: I am so sorry that the contest put you in this adventure. At least the best episode of the show is up next. Sheen: (on the show) No, World War is caused by rampant nationalism and economic instability! Everyone knows that! Doppy: (on the show) Called it! Jasmine: But we gotta finish this one first. We gotta finish all of them. You don't start watching Planet Sheen without "Banana Quest" in sight. Once you stop, it's all fifty episodes or bust. Moon Snail: There's FIFTY episodes!? Ivy: DEAR GOD NO! Pixel: Hell yeah! (clapping their hands) Jasmine: Well, it depends on how you define an episode. Some could say there's twenty-six episodes and fifty segments, if you count both specials as one segment. We've already finished the pilot, though, so that's one of the specials out of the way. Moon Snail: Good lord. Who thought this was a good idea? Prof. Wright: Some wretchid monster in the Dark Universe! Jasmine: Or Steve Oedekerk. Prof. Wright: Those aren't one and the same? Jasmine: Oh shit, the next episode's starting! Sheen: (off-screen) Sheen, do not press this button. Theme Song Singer: (off-screen) DOGS LIKE CHEESE COWS LIKE MONKEYS PLANET SHEEN IS OH-SO FUNKY Pixel: (singing along) SKATEBOARDS ROCK SHOES LIKE FEETSIES YOU ARE WATCHING PLANET SHEENSIES (everyone stares at Pixel) Pixel: What? It's catchy! Manic: Agreed. Prof. Wright: By the way, who is that guy again? Douglas Scheving: Douglas Scheving. I live in Upper Darby, Pennsylvania. I won a contest and got to come on and do the guest voice thingy. The Emperor: (on the show) Dorkus, you are a fantastic artist. Now everyone take all his clothes, art, and belongings! Moon Snail: My god, it's been 4 episodes, and I'm already mentally exhausted. Pinto: I don't mind, really. Ivy: Why did I sign up for this? Jasmine: (smiling, excitedly) Yeah, I know! Isn't it terrible? Moon Snail: ... (meanwhile at the Dorkus Lair) Dorkus: Pinter, behold! (Unveils giant laser) Pinter: Ooh! Such fine craftmanship. You are just so excellent. Dorkus: Yes, yes, I know. I will fire this laser at those pests in the Bunkest, eliminating their memory of all those times my hopes and dreams were crushed. Pinter: And how may it do that, your horridness? Dorkus: By destroying them! Pinter: Oh, my! How devilish of you! Dorkus: Thank you, Pinter, it takes a lot of work. Here goes! (Dorkus pushes button on the remote. The laser cannon fires, but the force from the laser pushes the cannon backwards into Dorkus, who gets pressed against a wall.) Dorkus: Oh, grock. (Cut back to the Bunkest, where the laser hits just behind everyone, showing it missed entirely.) Ace: Did you hear anything? Everyone: (shrugs) Prof. Wright: Shhhh! The next episode is about to start! Sheen and Theme Song Singer: IT ALL MAKES PERFECT SENSE ON.... Theme Song Singer: PLANET SHEEN! (TV displays a title card for an episode entitled "Dorkus Grocks Your Wife") Jasmine: Huh. I don't remember this one. BJ: Me neither. Prof. Wright: The Dark Universe has been generous once again! Let's take a look! (The camera briefly shows the episode, where Dorkus is plotting another evil plan. On the show of course. Dorkus is doing something else in real life.) Dorkus: (on the show) Pinter, I have yet another new plan to destroy that pesky Sheen once and for all! Pinter: Ooh! Do tell, do tell! Dorkus: When I drink this potion, I shall grow to enormous size! Sheen will only be able to tremble as I crush him below the weight of my massive foot! Pinter: Sounds wonderful, boss. Dorkus: Bottoms up! (Dorkus drinks the potion, when suddenly he starts shaking.) Dorkus: Yes, Pinter, I can feel it! I feel myself growing! (Cut back to a view of everyone watching the show. The TV is entirely obscured, but as the events afterwards happen, everyone's expressions slowly become horrified.) Dorkus: (on the show, offscreen) Oh grock, my cock. Jasmine: Okay guys, I definitely don't remember this episode happening! Moon Snail: Are they seriously going there? Pixel: (has a spittake) What the fuck? Nose Marie: Oh my southern fried goodness! Madi: They would never do that! The show's rated TV-Y7; who the h-e-c-letter-that-comes-after-j even thought of that??? Ivy: Shield Pinto's eyes and ears! She's too young to see this! (Manic, Cooler and Nose Marie cover Pinto's ears and eyes.) Pinto: Hey! I wanna see! Nose Marie: It's to graphic for you, darlin'! Jasmine: I didn't think they would! I thought every episode was online! Prof. Wright: Shhh! Don't interrupt! We're watching this for science! Pixel: Science, you say? Prof. Wright: Yes! Pixel: (smugly) Nice. (Cut back to view where everyone's watching the screen. Prof. Wright seems very interested, but everyone else has an expression of horror or disgust.) Moon Snail: What is the title of this episode? It's disgusting! Pixel: I suddenly feel the urge to barf. Dorkus: (on the show, offscreen) Time to grock some ladies. (Meanwhile, on the surface off the show, Dorkus is standing outside the door to the Bunkest.) Pinter: So what's your masterful maniacal scheme this time? Dorkus: I am going to go inside, and confront them physically! Pinter: Oh, nothing better than getting back to the basics, eh? Dorkus: (frustratedly) Nyeh. (Dorkus tries to push through the door, but it won't budge. He notices a keypad next to the door.) Pinter: Oh my! A keypad! What dastardly mysteries could it hold? Dorkus: Calm down, Pinter. It's a bunch of teenagers and young adults. It's obvious. (types on keypad) 6-9-4-2-0. (A large hand comes out of the keypad and slaps Dorkus) Dorkus: (typing again) 4-2-0-6-9? (A flame jet comes from above the Bunkest and burns Dorkus.) Dorkus: Grock! Well, it has to be some combination of those numbers. 0-2-4-9-6! (gets slapped) 4-0-9-6-2! (gets punched in the face. As the screen pans back to everyone in the Bunkest, Dorkus keeps guessing combinations of those five numbers with repeated means of torture. In the Bunkest, everyone seems horrified as they continue to watch "Dorkus Grocks Your Wife") Lady: (on the show, offscreen) Oh, Dorkus, you are so dreamy~ How did your cock get so big? Dorkus: (on the show, offscreen) Oh, you know, just some of this and a little bit of that. Are you up for getting grocked tonight? Lady: (ots, ofs) *squeals* I'd love to! Dorkus: (ots, ofs) Remember, kids, always ask for consent before you grock someone. Jasmine: Well, hey, at least this show has some good life lessons! Ivy: You little- Douglas Scheving: Hey, that lady looks like my wife! Jasmine: Oh my goodness, she looks like my wife too! And I don't even have a wife! BJ: She looks like my wife too! And I'm gay! (Everyone in the Bunkest notes that the lady onscreen looks like their wife, despite the fact hardly anyone in the Bunkest has a wife.) Ace: Man that sure is one animated sex scene. Bob: I detest this so much. Moon Snail: Same here. But I can't keep my eyes off of it for some reason... Pixel: Wanting to die is a mighty need right now. Lady: (ots, ofs) Oh, Dorkus! That was wonderful! Moon Snail: Good god, how many episodes are there left? Dorkus: (crashing through door) No more! (Everyone gasps) Jasmine: Oh goodness! It's Dorkus from Planet Sheen! Pinto: (Looks at Dorkus.) You're the guy on the TV! Pixel: How many ladies did you grock!? Ivy: For fuck's sake, Pixel. Dorkus: You stop watching that wretchid show right now eer I snap your neck! Jasmine: But we still have forty-three episodes to go! Moon Snail: Forty-three? Dorkus: No matter! All my most embarassing moments are on that show! My most woeful miseries! Jasmine: There, there, would you be cheered up if we told you you're the best part of Planet Sheen? Dorkus: You say what now? Jasmine: I mean, Sheen is grating and Doppy is kind of annoying. Aside from the episode where you grocked our wife, you're like the one part of the show that is entertaining to any degree. Dorkus: Wait, you mean you're not watching the show for Sheen? Prof. Wright: No, we're watching it for science! BJ: We're watching it for the experience. Madi: I'm watching it, because I remember it, even when it first premiered. Moon Snail: We're watching it because... I don't know why we're watching it. Pixel: We're watching it because we're all sick fucks! Douglas Scheving: I'm still here! Jasmine: You sure are, Douglas. You sure are. And besides! This is probably the best you've ever done! You get a whole episode about grocking our wife! Dorkus: Our ''wife? '''ACF': She looks like all of our wives and none of our wives at the same time. Most of us don't even have wives! Dorkus: Huh, I don't remember that one. Jasmine: Neither do I! Maybe you can watch it with us! (The camera pans slightly, showing the TV. The episode ends with Dorkus being crushed by his house.) Dorkus: (on the show) Oh, grock! (Cut back to Dorkus, looking annoyed, with Jasmine awkwardly smiling next to him.) Jasmine: Or not! Douglas Scheving: I wonder what the next episode will be. (TV shows title card for "Doppy Tells You the Exact Time and Date of Your Death") Madi: Okay, now this is getting ridiculous! Jasmine: This one seems fun! Pixel: I second that! (clapping their hands) Ivy: (Covers Pinto's eyes) I'm to scarred to look. Doppy: (on the show) Hey, everybody! Ready to find out when you're gonna die? (Pulls out book that says "The Time and Date of Everyone's Death") Here we go! First up... Moon Snail! Moon Snail: (perks up) Hmmm? Doppy: That's right! It seems you'll die on (TV suddenly shuts off. Flametail emerges from behind the TV holding the plug.) Flametail: Here you go. Moon Snail: Thanks, Flametail. Ivy: Thank you, Flametail! I don't wanna die anymore. Ace: Booooo, I wanna know when I die! I need to settle a bet with Moch. Moch: Yeah well there's no way you're going to die in a cool explosion and for the good of humanity. Ace: What, you will? Moch: No I'm gonna die after doing- Jasmine: (turns the TV back on) Okay guys the TV's back on! Sheen: (during transition) DOO-WUP DOO-WUP MONKEY MONKEY BOING! (Everyone is cowering) Jasmine: Are y'all enjoying the Planet Sheen experience? (Only Prof. Wright and Pixel nod their heads. Everyone else seems to be shaking theirs.) Jasmine: Yeah, that's about the reaction I was expecting. Madi: Well at least there's another episode coming up! (TV shows title card for an episode called "It's Gonna Be Fine") Jasmine: I don't remember this episode either. Prof. Wright: (interrupting Jasmine) Sh-sh-sh-sh! Science! Doppy: (on the show) Hey, Sheen? Sheen: (on the show) What is it Doppy? Doppy: I think it's been far too long since we've had a good musical number! Sheen: That's weird, I was just thinking the same thing! (Sheen and Doppy start singing "It's Gonna Be Fine," much to everyone else's bewilderment.) ACF: Is this really how it ends? Are Sheen and Doppy just gonna steal our musical number? Jasmine: I guess so. Douglas Scheving: '''Dang. I really wanted to participate in that. Ah well. (Sheen and Doppy finish singing "It's Gonna Be Fine" as everyone watches the TV intently as everyone dances, and the episode ends.) Next Episode Preview '''Jasmine: Sup guys! I'm gonna enter this sweet competition held by Brancorp! See you then, on "Some Pun on the Word 'Bran'". See you then! Category:Random Works! Category:Pages by CompliensCreator00 Category:The Bunkest Category:The Bunker Episodes Category:The Bunkest Season 1 Category:Planet Sheen Category:Some other 7th thing. Category:The Bunkest Episodes